Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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