So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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