i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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