I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
