I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize