Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
