you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
