At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
