Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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