Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
