kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
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