I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
