Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
