dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
