It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
