Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
