There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
