Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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