Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
