knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
