these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
