I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
