i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
