i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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