Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
