He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
