He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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