this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
