He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
