her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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