i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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