I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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