I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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