I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize