I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
