butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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