Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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