ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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