Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
