She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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