She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
