their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
