id be glad to
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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