do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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