Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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