I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize