Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
