as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
