It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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