guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
