at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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