He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
