he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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