she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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