Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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