what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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