So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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