We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
