Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
