You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
