I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
