Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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