Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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