I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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